Releasing the Pressure

Pressure disguises itself in many ways. Depending upon what your circumstances are, pressure presents itself both externally and internally. Allow me to share my circumstances.

As mentioned in the first post, after forty seven years I have moved back in with my parents as a result of a job loss. Also mentioned was the struggle with losing my dignity and my identity. Living at home brings forth a challenge for me regarding my role in life; was I a grown adult, or a vulnerable child?

Although not clearly spoken, expectations existed upon my relocation. It was expected I would find work within 3 months, save money, find a place and be able to go and get my dog Deakin from Idaho. It's been 5 months, 24 days. The expectations evolved from my parents, which in turn influenced my mindset. It was soon after the 3 month mark that I began to feel pressure. Where was it coming from? Was it the fact that today's job search is nothing like it used to be? Was is that my parents, both in their eighties, couldn't understand why their daughter, educated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Human Resource Training and Development, would not be hired by any prosepective employer? Again, expectations surfaced. The pressure I felt stemmed from many different directions; my parents, the frustration of the daily grind, missing my dog, and the consistent rejection from employers.

Aside from these contributing factors, somehow I pushed forward, began to meditate and realized the significance of releasing the pressure. I began to see the psychological barriers ( as written in previous posts) that were preventing me from being me. I was putting pressure on myself. Barriers of guilt, not meeting my parents expectations, and fear of things not working out, all played leading roles behind the pressure.

Pressure has a way of sneaking up on you. I have become atuned to it and have learned to recognize it before it does damage. Here's the thing; job hunting is a job. In the beginning, I was out there every day, resume after resume, applications, want ads; you name it, I was buried in it. As time went on, I began to see myself as a person who could do other things.

 I determined that it does no good to approach employers on Mondays ( just back from the weekend, not focused on the workweek yet) or Fridays (one foot is already in the weekend!). That left Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays to actively do the resume and application thing. I was beginning to balance my inner self. I began attending church each Sunday, applied my creativity with crocheting, made business cards to assist people with yard work, animal and house sitting, and even sold some Avon! This enabled some cash flow, hence relieving the pressure I had put on myself.

Presently, I am involved with 2 networking groups, I do yardwork for cash flow, attend a spiritual group 2 times per month, apply to positions I qualify for, and provide hope to others in similar situations. Being still with yourself does not come easy, yet I strongly recommend it. Doing so will allow you to see your hidden heart within. We all have one. Once revealed, you will come to recognize your true self; not just an individual who has to find a job or the world will come crashing down on you. Release the pressure.

 All you have to do is believe.

Laura Papke